dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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