Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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