PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
