i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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