Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize