For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
