yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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