whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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