Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
