Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
