I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
