Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
did you just send me my own nude
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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