I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
