i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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