i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
