but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
