thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize