i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
