The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
