I'll bet she douches with gravy.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
