I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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