I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
