He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
