"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
