and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize