are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
