So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
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