He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
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