Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize