He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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