dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize