so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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