Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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