Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
