all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
