and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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