I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
