My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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