I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
