Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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