so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
