come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
