So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
