well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
