We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
