Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
