He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize