They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
