I think I died a long time ago.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize