$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
