operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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