But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
