Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize