just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
