erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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