we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
