Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
