4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
