Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
