Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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