His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize