Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
