Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
