You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
