I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
