all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
