Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
send nudes
from the living room?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
