She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
